This is my official first blog post, ever. I am wondering how it will go as I sit here typing with so much to talk about and so much to share. Were to begin...
In March of 2012, I was diagnosed with the horrible monster called endometriosis. I had no idea what this was. I was lost and confused and just wanted answers. As most people do, I got online and researched this disease and then some questions were finally being answered. Why was I always so tired? Why am I having chronic lower back pain? Why is it painful to use the restroom? And the question to most women who are sexually active, Why does it hurt so bad during, after, after, and after?
Being tired is a trait that I have inherited from my family. I was a mom, being tired is a job requirement, right? It is and I am not giving any mom no reason not to use that word, but an endometriosis tired is a little different. You have no energy, EVER. You feel like you are in a whole battling a bout of depression. You can't function and all you want to do is close your eyes and sleep... ALL THE TIME. This is not something that only happens during your cycle. This is an every day battle. You battle it and battle it. You feel like something is seriously wrong with you. In my case, I have been put on an anti-depressant to help. I have tried three different kinds until one worked with my chemical make-up. So far so good with the new one. I still battle the tiredness...
Oh the pain for so many years. Oh the many doctors appointments; regular, gyno, and chiropractor. Had an MRI done on my lower back. Many x-rays and pelvic exams. I have sometimes felt like a lab rat. I have been told that I have compressed lower vertebrae and that physical therapy would be my only option to ease the pain. I started physical therapy, and the pain got worse. Like I couldn't walk worse. It was so awful. I stopped going to therapy and just take ibuprofen like tic-tacs to ease the pain. To this day, I am only able to work out at the gym certain times during the month because the pain gets so bad I can hardly walk or stand. The compressed vertebrae is not the sole issue to this pain. The monster is helping in more ways!
My regular physician prescribes me an as needed medicine for my IBS. Well, we think it is IBS. Another disease that can not really be explained or diagnosed. Just call me the experiment from God. ;) Come to find out, IBS symptoms are symptoms of the monster too. Let me tell you, a girl can not win with this monster hanging around. Sadly, there is no cure, and we have to experiment with drugs, remedies, ideas, etc to ease the pain and symptoms of this nasty unruly disease. There is no regular restroom breaks anymore. You never know when it is going to hurt to push, burn, or send sharp shooting pains down your rectum. For years I thought I was going to have to have a colonoscopy, but my doctors never seemed to be concerned about it. "Was I not explaining myself well? Did I not tell them HOW bad it hurts? Should I cry to them?" All of this goes through your head, because all you want is an answer and for someone to tell you you are not going insane.
The poor men! I am not saying this in a sarcastic way either. The husbands and boyfriends of women with endometriosis hurt as bad as we do. Not only in the bedroom, but they see the hurt on our faces and the discomfort in our everyday lives. To have a healthy relationship, you must be intimate. To be intimate, you must be able to relax, feel pleasure, and at least strive for it. Well, that is easier said then done when the monster is present. It does not stop. Ok, I have at least 4 good days a month. That is not exaggerating! Ask my husband. He will tell you. 4 days were I don't feel bloated, I do not have pelvic pain, and actually have energy to do things. Then we are intimate and the entire cycle starts all over again. I am so uncomfortable the next day. I feel like I never work out and gained 10 pounds. The jeans I wore the day before are super uncomfortable. I can not relax, pelvic pain is back, and the bathroom breaks are uneasy. So, yes, the poor men. Would you want to go through all that again just to be intimate?
In March of 2012, I was diagnosed with the horrible monster called endometriosis. I had no idea what this was. I was lost and confused and just wanted answers. As most people do, I got online and researched this disease and then some questions were finally being answered. Why was I always so tired? Why am I having chronic lower back pain? Why is it painful to use the restroom? And the question to most women who are sexually active, Why does it hurt so bad during, after, after, and after?
Being tired is a trait that I have inherited from my family. I was a mom, being tired is a job requirement, right? It is and I am not giving any mom no reason not to use that word, but an endometriosis tired is a little different. You have no energy, EVER. You feel like you are in a whole battling a bout of depression. You can't function and all you want to do is close your eyes and sleep... ALL THE TIME. This is not something that only happens during your cycle. This is an every day battle. You battle it and battle it. You feel like something is seriously wrong with you. In my case, I have been put on an anti-depressant to help. I have tried three different kinds until one worked with my chemical make-up. So far so good with the new one. I still battle the tiredness...
Oh the pain for so many years. Oh the many doctors appointments; regular, gyno, and chiropractor. Had an MRI done on my lower back. Many x-rays and pelvic exams. I have sometimes felt like a lab rat. I have been told that I have compressed lower vertebrae and that physical therapy would be my only option to ease the pain. I started physical therapy, and the pain got worse. Like I couldn't walk worse. It was so awful. I stopped going to therapy and just take ibuprofen like tic-tacs to ease the pain. To this day, I am only able to work out at the gym certain times during the month because the pain gets so bad I can hardly walk or stand. The compressed vertebrae is not the sole issue to this pain. The monster is helping in more ways!
My regular physician prescribes me an as needed medicine for my IBS. Well, we think it is IBS. Another disease that can not really be explained or diagnosed. Just call me the experiment from God. ;) Come to find out, IBS symptoms are symptoms of the monster too. Let me tell you, a girl can not win with this monster hanging around. Sadly, there is no cure, and we have to experiment with drugs, remedies, ideas, etc to ease the pain and symptoms of this nasty unruly disease. There is no regular restroom breaks anymore. You never know when it is going to hurt to push, burn, or send sharp shooting pains down your rectum. For years I thought I was going to have to have a colonoscopy, but my doctors never seemed to be concerned about it. "Was I not explaining myself well? Did I not tell them HOW bad it hurts? Should I cry to them?" All of this goes through your head, because all you want is an answer and for someone to tell you you are not going insane.
The poor men! I am not saying this in a sarcastic way either. The husbands and boyfriends of women with endometriosis hurt as bad as we do. Not only in the bedroom, but they see the hurt on our faces and the discomfort in our everyday lives. To have a healthy relationship, you must be intimate. To be intimate, you must be able to relax, feel pleasure, and at least strive for it. Well, that is easier said then done when the monster is present. It does not stop. Ok, I have at least 4 good days a month. That is not exaggerating! Ask my husband. He will tell you. 4 days were I don't feel bloated, I do not have pelvic pain, and actually have energy to do things. Then we are intimate and the entire cycle starts all over again. I am so uncomfortable the next day. I feel like I never work out and gained 10 pounds. The jeans I wore the day before are super uncomfortable. I can not relax, pelvic pain is back, and the bathroom breaks are uneasy. So, yes, the poor men. Would you want to go through all that again just to be intimate?